Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize