The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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