what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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