i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
