I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
