tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
