I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
