One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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