So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
