Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
