my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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