hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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