I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
