your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
