Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
