Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
