so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Congratulations! We have a period
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