..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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