I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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