When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
