A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
