new low.... made out with someone while peeing
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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