I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
