Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
