Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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