I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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