dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Randomize
