She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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