I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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