Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize