therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
