That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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