How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
