I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize