Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
