and next time when you feel me up, do it right
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
