I cockslap morals
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Randomize
