you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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