hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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