my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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