just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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