just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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