yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
