It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
