just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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