My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I can't put those talents on a resume
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
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