Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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