So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
