Me. At least after what I've been through.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
