i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize