just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
