either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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