Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
