I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
