yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
