so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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