that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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