I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
