Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
im on a boat
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