i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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