What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
