Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
