I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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