So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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