Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize