I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize