yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
