Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Sponge bath it is.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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