Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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