I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
We are two peas in an std pod
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize