I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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