Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
