kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
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